Rhino Wrestler Newsletter - Distributed semi-monthly by Rhoberta Shaler, PhD & Optimize! Institute

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Rhoberta Shaler, PhD
Rhoberta Shaler, PhD

Hello,

How are you doing? Is the media getting to you with all the conversations about gloom, doom, and financial disaster?  That, coupled with the elections here in the US, is filling the screen, airways and billboards.  Could be the best time to use that remote and turn to a good book, or go for a walk.

How are you responding? That’s the important question. No matter what is put in front of us, we are responsible for our response. That’s what makes us response-able!  In this edition’s article, I’m offering some insights into What to Do When Fear Hits the Workplace.  This is a time to be careful. It’s easy to react rather than respond.

Prevent Free Fall: Pack Your Own Parachute

ALL NEW BOOK!  PREVENT FREE FALL: PACK YOUR OWN PARACHUTE (much expanded paperback edition of our popular ebook) 60 pages!
Get your copy of this new book & use the ten clear tactics to triumph over tense times! Turn potential adversity into focused opportunity now! The skills you'll learn from this valuable little book will help you keep it together when things start to fall apart.

Get your copy now

In this Issue:

Upcoming Events

Inspiring Words for Your Post-It™ Notes

Feature Article: WHAT TO DO WHEN FEAR HITS

KEEP READING….

Lately, I’ve been working with executive teams who need insights to get along better and be more productive. What’s wonderful is that it is working well! You know how keen I am on the Core Values Profile and its amazing clarity for understanding yourself and your relationships. When we use it with workplace teams, it just makes great sense to everyone.  Recently, two executives were dancing on each other’s last nerves. In just five hours of work together, they gained great insights and stopped thinking the other was out to get them, being purposefully difficult.  They moved from frenemies to colleagues. Much more productive, profitable…and peaceful.  You can take the CVP at www.CoreValuesProfile.com

BIG NEWS! The reason I haven’t sent you a Rhino Wrestler for awhile is that I was finishing a new book, Prevent Free Fall: Pack Your Own Parachute – Timely Tactics for Taming Tense Times. It’s a very clear, quick-read book packed with clear things you can do to respond well in tough times. Be in charge of yourself with these tools.  Then, to make sure you get all that you can to support yourself, I created a membership site at www.TamingTenseTimes.com  I want you to have the opportunity to get exactly what you need, no matter what is going on for you. This website has so many benefits, including the opportunity for you to send me an email with your pressing question, and, I’ll answer it by sending you an audio email with my thoughts for you.  Then, all these Audio FAQs are put up on the site for everyone to benefit from!  CHECK IT OUT.  It’s launching today and things are added every week. It can keep you sane, clear and focused on what serves you best.

AND, one more thing….I know there’s so much to tell you!  Remember that you and your staff can get the specific skills you want just by picking up the phone.  Yes! Learn all about that at www.WorkplacePeopleSkills.com  So efficient and effective. And, the programs can be run just for your staff—customized!

So, we’re back together and you’ll get your Rhino Wrestler regularly.  If you have questions that you would like me to answer in another edition, be sure to send me an email at RS@OptimizeInstitute.com  I want to help.

Stay calm. Breathe deeply. Walk confidently. Have great skills.

You are a leader in your own life. That’s where it all starts.

Cheers,
Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD
Counselor. Consultant. Coach. Catalyst.
Helping Businesses Prosper & People Flourish
www.OptimizeInstitute.com
www.WorkplacePeopleSkills.com
www.CoreValuesProfile.com
www.TamingTenseTimes.calm

Escondido, CA
760.735.8686

 

INSPIRING WORDS FOR YOUR POST-IT™ NOTES

"Stress: The confusion created when one's mind overrides the body's basic desire to choke the living daylights out of some jerk who desperately deserves it."  – Anonymous

"Anyone can give up, it's the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that's true strength". – Anonymous

“In times of great stress or adversity, it's always best to keep busy, to plow your anger and your energy into something positive.” Lee Iacocca

 

IMPROVING YOUR WORKLIFE:

WHAT TO DO FIRST WHEN FEAR HITS YOUR WORKPLACE
© Rhoberta Shaler, PhD
www.TamingTenseTimes.com

hiring rightMoney’s tight. The economy is changing. You hear that layoffs are coming. Someone is called to the supervisor’s office. Word travels through the workplace. Fear creeps in.

It’s like the jungle or the savannah. They say that, in times of drought, the animals down at the watering hole look at each other differently. Are folks looking at each other differently at your water cooler?

Your body has a mind of its own. When it senses fear, it immediately goes into a protective mode. Your shoulders move towards your earlobes. Your digestion slows down. You become hyper-vigilant. Your hands and feet become cold as the blood rushes to protect vital organs. When this happens, the blood also leaves your brain. In fact, it first leaves the frontal lobes. Not great as their job is associated with reasoning, planning, parts of speech, movement, emotions, and problem solving. Great!  Just what you need is the first to go!

Knowing this, then, it is imperative that you ‘keep your head about you’ in tense times. You need to keep your cool when the sharks and circling, and the wolves are at the door. Easy to say!  Fortunately, not so difficult to do. Here are some suggestions—no, really, imperatives—for triumphing in tense times.*

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BE POSITIVELY SELFISH
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   Take very good care of yourself.  This is important at all times, however, it is essential in tense times.  Do these five things every day, without fail:

   1. Often throughout your day, breathe deeply in through your nose and exhale slowly through your mouth five times. This is the best mini-vacation on the planet. You’ll notice that your shoulders naturally relax as you exhale through your mouth. The increase of oxygen to your brain is also appreciated.

   2.  Go for a walk for, at least, thirty minutes each day. Breathe well and relax your body. This is a time to enjoy the beauty that you see.  If you are walking in nature, see it there. If you are walking on a city street, see it in the people you meet. Find it. If your mind begins to race, do #1 above and re-focus on what you are seeing.

   3.  Put your personal affairs in order. Clean your office, your space, your home, your closets. Doing things over which you have control is calming. Take back overdue library books. Pay fines. Return borrowed items. Write that letter you’ve been putting off. Make a will. Organize your finances.

   4.  Focus on your goals. What do you want to have accomplished one week, month or year from now? What are your plans for achieving these goals? What can you do pro-actively right now to move forward? Again, take control of what is in your control. This is important.

   5.  Eat nutritious foods. You know this and your mind will play tricks when you are tense. What you think of as comfort foods may be just the things that increase your discomfort. Sugars, for instance, seem comforting, however, they can contribute to a feeling of depression. Not so helpful during times of stress!

Sure, many folks think that coffee keeps them going when things are tough. It may give them that illusion. Coffee is not only a stimulant but also a diuretic.  That means it is taking vital water from your cells just when you need it most. It creates tension…and the desire for another cup! Not so good.

______________________

BE ATTENTIVE
_______________________

Attentive is desirable. Hyper-vigilant, not so much. But, it is easy to become hyper-vigilant when fearful in the workplace. This is a natural response to high-stress or trauma. It occurs when some fear, trauma, or drama captures your emotions and hooks into your deepest concerns, expressed or unexpressed. Once one thing has happened, there is a heightened expectation of more to follow.  Everything looks like a threat. It’s living in that state of waiting for the other shoe to drop. 

So, how do you become conscious, attentive to what is happening in your mind and body avoid responding with hyper-vigilance? When something happens that could be construed as an indication of a problem, say, you see two colleagues chatting quietly together, ask yourself a few questions: 

  • If lay-offs were not an issue, would this behavior seem problematic? 
  • Am I labeling or judging this behavior inappropriately? 
  • How am I intensifying the fear by my reactions and behaviors? 
  • Am I doing anything that might be causing others discomfort?  

 

This will help you adjust your perspective to maintain balance.

Be attentive to your own behavior. When you focus on what you can contribute rather than what you fear, several benefits follow. You are calmer. You help others feel more settled. Your focus makes you more valuable in the workplace.  You stay conscious of the bigger picture. You are more circumspect. You become a leader!

______________________

BE PRO-ACTIVE
______________________

Keep your head up out of the sand. Be aware of the realities of your current situation and plan for them realistically. If your first reaction is panic, set aside an hour to just worry, or, better yet, just five minutes. Get it out of your system.  Worry really well and use that time fully. 

Then, look turn your attention to the bigger picture. Look for actual evidence in reality of the truth of the situation, not the fear in the situation. Then, adjust your attitude and perception accordingly. Only then can you make the best plan for yourself.

Read magazines from your industry. What are the trends? What are the needs?  What is the accurate picture? Then, respond. Do you need more training? Is re-location an option? This would be a good time to assess your goals and focus on your next steps.

Talk with others in your field, preferably, those in charge. Ask your questions.  Clarify the intentions of the organization. Ask how and if your position is likely to be affected. Don’t wait to be a result. Take charge of what you can.

Your life is too important to live in fear in your workplace. You have goals. You have skills. You have direction. You have a voice. Take charge of fear. You know that you are the only person who is responsible for your responses to life. Choose responses that support you. Too many people fail to step up to the plate in their own game of life. Step up! Be positively selfish, attentive and pro-active.

 

*  Want to triumph in tense times? My book, Prevent Free Fall: Pack Your Own Parachute – Timely Tactics for Taming Tense Times, gives you the clarity, focus and skills you need to know you are doing all that you can to help yourself during tense times, with tense teams. www.TamingTenseTimes.com  www.TamingTenseTeams.com  

©  Rhoberta Shaler, PhD   All rights reserved worldwide.
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Dr. Rhoberta Shaler  is the author of Wrestling Rhinos: Conquering Conflict in the Wilds of Work and  founder of the Optimize Institute and WorkplacePeopleSkills.com. A well-respected speaker, consultant and coach, she works with organizations that know their people are their top resource, and with enlightened leaders who know that building relationships must be a top priority. They know that working with Dr. Shaler creates right-sized, high-performance teams that are consistently effective and profitable--especially in a troubled economy.

Author of more than two dozen books and audio programs, Dr. Shaler offers cost-saving professional development through training delivered both in person and on the telephone. Call Dr. Shaler now and optimize your success. Visit www.OptimizeInstitute.com & subscribe to her Rhino Wrestler ezine.

 

This article may be reprinted or republished if the complete copyright/resource information is kept intact. For a formatted version for print, email info@optimizeinstitute.com

Volume 4, Issue 4- %$today$%
US Library of Congress
ISSN: 1555-8215
© Rhoberta Shaler, PhD
Published by People Skills Press

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A very special invitation just for you…

Be pro-active with this economy, with this life, with your relationships…right now.

Take a break from the relentless stress that life and the media seem to throw your way.  You can get great tips and strategies for avoiding, escaping and transforming fear and anxiety.  Get the insights and support you need right when you need it by becoming a member of Taming Tense Times at www.TamingTenseTimes.com 

Dr. Rhoberta Shaler and her colleagues bring you the very best information available from their experience and expertise…all at your computer 24/7.

 

Workplace People Skills

Want to feel comfortable, competent and competent in any situation requiring communication or conflict management?

Have a look at our Workplace People Skills programs and enhance your skills. Take a teleseminar or bring a program to your workplace.

Find out more about Workplace People Skills and how it can benefit your organization...


WRESTLING RHINOS: CONQUERING CONFLICT IN THE WILDS OF WORK
Dr. Shaler's "business classic", Wrestling Rhinos: Conquering Conflict in the Wilds of Work, gives you the communication, conflict & anger management & negotiation strategies to improve any relationship

Get your copy today - $19.95

Want to read more from Dr. Shaler?

You can READ MORE ABOUT IT AND BUY YOUR OWN COPY AT WWW.SOULSOLITUDE.com

Anti-Stress Tips - Did you know last week was National Stress-Out Week? To keep stress at bay all year, use these tips!

  1. Take a time-out. Practice yoga, listen to music, volunteer, or get a massage. Stepping back from the problem lets you clear your head.
  2. Eat well-balanced meals. Do not skip any meals. Do keep healthful, energy-boosting snacks on hand.
  3. Get enough sleep. When stressed, your body needs additional sleep and rest.
  4. Do your best instead of trying to be perfect. Perfection isn't possible, so be proud of however close you get.
  5. Accept that you cannot control everything. Put your stress in perspective: Is it really as bad as you think?
  6. Take deep breaths. Inhale and exhale slowly.
  7. Count to 10 slowly. Repeat, and count to 20 if necessary.
  8. Welcome humor. A good laugh goes a long way.
  9. Maintain a positive attitude. Make an effort to replace negative thoughts with positive ones.
  10. Learn what triggers your anxiety. Is it work, family, school, or something else you can identify? Write in a journal when you’re feeling stressed or anxious, and then look for a pattern.
  11. Talk to someone. Tell friends and family you’re feeling overwhelmed, and let them know how they can help you. Talk to a physician or therapist for professional help.

Compliments of National Stress-Out Week, promoted by Anxiety Disorders Association of America http://www.adaa.org/

 

We offer teleseminars, coaching, books and MP3 seminars on all of the skills above. Call or visit us today and find out how you can become a master communicator. www.OptimizeInstitute.com

 

COPYRIGHT INFORMATION

© This newsletter is the property and copyright of Rhoberta Shaler, PhD and Optimize! Institute. Please honor our copyright. If you would like to publish one of our articles, in your print or electronic newsletter or journal, or, you would like to include it for your website visitors, you may do so IF THE copyright/ resource information is kept in tact. Thank you.

Make it an optimized day!