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As the holiday season gets under way, stress can mount. Today's edition is all about practical ways to reduce stress, anxiety and tension. Frayed nerves at work are easy to come by at this time of year. Deadlines seem to slip as folks are on vacation or, at a minimum, "in the holiday spirit". Business still needs doing, yet, attitudes change and focus is often lost. To help relax you, I've included an offer from my friend and colleague, John Catanzaro, a remarkably gifted musician. His new CD, Winter Journeys, is filled with wonderful instrumental arrangements that will keep you in a holiday mood while refreshing, renewing and relaxing you at the same time. It makes an excellent gift. You can order by email at order@heartsonics.com In this Issue:
More from Rhoberta...
Relax and enjoy the holidays. Breathe well and stay in the present moment. It only makes sense to be fully in the moment as it is the only place you can actually be. You cannot do tomorrow's work today, nor, can you change the past. As Ram Dass once said, "Be here now!" Let's take the spirit of Thanksgiving and make it last throughout the holidays. Rhoberta Rhoberta Shaler, PhD P.S. I'm booking keynotes, training, and teleseminars now for the upcoming year. Let's talk about the needs of your department, division or company and find ways to work together. Send me an email at RS@OptimizeInstitute.com or give me a call at 760.735.8686. I'm looking forward to working with you. Let's make a difference together. INSPIRING WORDS FOR YOUR POST-IT™ NOTES
IMPROVING YOUR WORKLIFE:Waiting to Exhale Have you ever found yourself with your shoulders up around your earlobes at the end of the day? Do you have first-hand knowledge of why they made a special product just to relieve tension headaches? You are waiting to exhale. Is there someone in your office that you simply would rather not know, hear or work with and you avoid at all costs? You are waiting to exhale. TELESEMINARS FOR YOUR TEAM
Does your life seem too full of challenges and too lacking in downtime? You are waiting to exhale. When life gets tough, we hold our breath. Maybe, we don't hold it until we turn blue. That's just a one-time thing and, then it's over. But, we do tend to reduce our ability to breathe…both physically and metaphorically. Right this minute, take a big breath in through your nose and let it out your mouth. Notice how your shoulders return to their relaxed state and you feel a sense of relief. You were using too much energy for the wrong things. Think how much energy the body requires to keep your shoulders raised like that for most of the day. Using energy that way makes it unavailable for other things—like thinking, creating, appreciating, focusing. If everyone in the office has their shoulders attached to their earlobes, much less is being accomplished and tension is palpable. You are in charge of your body. Decide right now to check your body often—at five minute intervals at first—to see if you are misusing physical energy. Breathe deeply in through the nose, out through the mouth and allow those muscles to relax. You'll feel better immediately. Therefore, you'll be better able to cope with the rhinos chomping at the bit outside your office. Do it for yourself. You deserve a better day! Now, for the metaphorical exhalation… When you wake up each morning, are you looking forward to your day? Are you living in the moment, allowing yourself and others to be different? One thing that every person can do well to pay attention to is the boxes in which we keep ourselves and others. We even use the expression, "I've got him/her pegged. I know which box to put them in and I've made up my mind." That's a very limiting belief! Certainly, we want to understand our behavior, attitude and feelings and those of our colleagues. Understanding can lead to growth. On the other hand, if we think we have someone "pegged", that can lead to not allowing them to grow, to be or respond differently. We can be trying to keep someone in their box. Very destructive and, the antithesis of creativity, expansiveness and productivity. How does this relate to exhalation? When you allow others to know you, the real you, not some artificially-created, safe-for-the-workplace you, you can then allow them to be themselves, too. It creates a climate of honesty, integrity and safety. When you are known and you are allowed to change and grow, you no longer have to live with a sense of constriction, uncertainty and fear. You can exhale. Living with an "impostor syndrome" is endlessly tiring. You do not give yourself credit for all that you can do. You do not get the skills that would relieve you of it. You are holding your breath, waiting for someone to "find you out". Assess yourself accurately. You were hired because you have much to offer. Step out and get the skills you think you are missing. Step fully into your skin and you can exhale. Take your whole self to work and breathe well. You'll have a more productive day. You'll be less tired at the end of it. You'll enjoy yourself more. And, you will not be waiting to exhale!
© Rhoberta Shaler, PhD Dr. Rhoberta Shaler solves 'people problems' at work by making it easier to talk about difficult things. Dr. Shaler speaks to, trains and coaches executives and entrepreneurs worldwide in the communication skills essential to creating powerful conversations that reduce conflict & anger, build trust, and streamline negotiation. The rewards: stronger teams, optimized productivity and increased profits. Author of over a dozen books and audio programs, Dr. Shaler's new book, 'Wrestling Rhinos: Conquering Conflict in the Wilds of Work' is receiving rave reviews for "teaching people to play nicely in the company sandbox". She is the founder of the Optimize! Institute in Escondido, CA. www.OptimizeInstitute.com This article may be reprinted or republished if the complete copyright/resource information is kept intact. For a formatted version for print, email info@optimizeinstitute.com IMPROVING YOUR LIFE:Boredom Causes Stress We hear a lot about boredom these days--people bored on the job, teens bored with their lives, children bored without a computer or TV screen in front of them. Whatever happened to creativity and knowing how to amuse oneself? Young children still know that a big cardboard box or two and a large imagination can take up a whole afternoon! Did you know that boredom causes something called deprivational stress? This type of stress can be equally as difficult to manage as that caused by having too much to do. Again, the necessity for keeping our lives well-balanced becomes obvious. Too much stress is unhealthy. Too little interest in life is unhealthy. Waiting for someone to do something that interests or amuses us makes that other person responsible for our wellness or happiness...or both. There is definitely something wrong with this picture, isn't there? Richard Bach tells us that "In order to live freely and happily, you must sacrifice boredom. It is not always an easy sacrifice." Do you believe that is true in your own life? Sometimes, we even let our relationships get boring. We lose our curiosity in the other person. We think we know all that there is to know about them and we take them for granted. Here's a wonderful place to begin. Become curious again. Ask questions. Listen with interest to the answers. Find out what another thinks and what causes them to think that way. Learn the dreams of others and see what you can contribute to their dream. Look at them with new eyes. For today, notice your level of curiosity, interest and creativity in all that you do. I cannot imagine that folks interested in optimal living would allow themselves to be bored. We each have the opportunity to create value for ourselves in every moment of our day, in every relationship including the one with yourself. It is even possible to do it in a "boring" meeting, film or conversation. Challenge yourself to find value for yourself wherever you are. © Rhoberta Shaler, PhD All rights reserved. This article may be reprinted or republished if the complete copyright/resource information is kept intact. For a formatted version for print, email info@optimizeinstitute.com |
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COPYRIGHT INFORMATION© This newsletter is the property and copyright of Rhoberta Shaler, PhD and Optimize! Institute. Please honor our copyright. If you would like to publish one of our articles, in your print or electronic newsletter or journal, or, you would like to include it for your website visitors, you may do so IF THE copyright/ resource information is kept in tact. Thank you. Make it an optimized day!
The Rhino Wrestler™ is a publication of Optimize! Institute. Published by People Skills Press. © 1998-2005 Rhoberta Shaler, PhD
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Do
you have your copy of Wrestling Rhinos: Conquering Conflict in
the Wilds of Work? This is an excellent book to help you with specific
communication, conflict & anger management and negotiation skills…available
right when you need them. In fact, it's a great book to give
to every person on your staff. Then, you can all find ways to 'play
nicely together in the company sandbox'! We all need these skills
and we usually did not learn them at home. Equip yourself right away
and calm your communications. 
Let
the world be told of rare music to be heard, of stories shared and
lives transformed. Experience the wonder and grace of "A
Winters Journey ~ Tidings of Comfort and Joy" A new CD by John Catanzaro.
e-mail: 